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  For several minutes, I released all control and allowed him to fuck my mouth deep and hard. I moaned around his cock, sending the vibrations of my throat coursing over his shaft. He groaned again as I looked up at him with watery eyes, and he cracked a small smile before my head was pushed back down. I sucked hard from the back of my throat, wanting so badly to feel that huge cock inside of me, filling me completely. As I glanced up at him again, I could see him fighting with himself, trying to decide whether to take me then or let my lips continue to massage the bulging circumference of his erection. Finally, he pushed my head down and held it there for a moment as I moved my tongue as far as I could while deepthroating him. When he released, he grabbed my face and pulled me upward, helping me to my feet.

  He walked toward me, backing me up into the bed and smiling as I fell backward, pulling myself up to the top. I slipped my panties off and tossed them to the side, spreading my legs apart and biting my bottom lip as he stood there gazing down at my body. He lurched forward onto the bed and up over my body, rolling me over on my stomach and pulling my ass up into the air. He had no ability at that point to hold back, and I could see the passion shooting through him. He pulled my hips toward him and ran the tip of his cock through my juices, sliding it through the wetness and inside of me. He pushed deep until his pelvis was touching my ass, groaning with clenched teeth.

  I reached forward and grabbed onto the pillow, knowing I was going to have to muffle my screams and moans. He thrust his hips forward and slapped his body against me, instantly retracting and doing it again. I reached over and grabbed onto the edge of the mattress, trying to quiet the sound of the squeaking bed. He continued to fuck me harder and harder until the level of sound was too loud. He pulled out and laid down on his back, pulling me by the waist over top of him.

  I straddled him and reached down, grabbing his dick by the base and slowly lowering myself onto him. I cupped my mouth, moaning into my hand, and I felt him push deeper into me with a thrust of his hips. I put my hands down on his chest and began to grind against him, feeling him matching me with short, stiff thrusts. My clit swirled around his soft skin, and I could feel the orgasm that had been simmering since the beginning begin to bubble over in my stomach.

  I sat up straight and put my hands behind me, leaning back on his thighs as I moved my body in circles around his huge cock. He reached forward and began to rub my clit with purpose, but after a few moments of that, it was too much, and I threw my body upright, grabbing my tits as they bounced around and leaned my head back, holding the screams inside of me. My body shook and writhed against him as I came long and hard, my juices trickling down his shaft.

  He moaned deeply, lifting me up slightly and beginning to slam his hips up and down, pushing in and out of me while pleasure still surged through my body. I could feel the lust getting stronger between us as he grabbed me and threw me down on the bed, sitting over top of me stroking his long hard cock. I smiled and licked my lips, pushing my tits out as he rolled his eyes back and fisted his cock hard until warm streams of come exploded over my chest and belly.

  I laid down beneath him, breathing heavily as he reached over and grabbed a towel, wiping the come from my body and the tip of his cock. He sat there for a moment, still stroking his pulsing erection, and looked down at me with a mischievous smile. Before I knew it, he was back inside of me, and I couldn’t even speak for the next hour as we rolled around the bed for a second time, trying to keep our sounds as quiet as possible. I came another two times before it was all over, and by the time he was done, he had collapsed on the bed next to me, sweat glistening on his body. I couldn’t believe that he had gone twice in succession like that. It turned out he was way more extensive than I originally thought.

  He turned to his side and smiled as I lay there recovering, my thighs still shaking from the positions he had put me in. He reached out and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me close to him and kissing my neck. I closed my eyes and took in the smell of his cologne, mixed with lustful sweat. Everything about that moment was absolutely perfect, and I couldn’t imagine what life would be like if we had never taken the chance like we had. I hadn’t been this happy ever in my life, and I knew that I owed it all to Ryan.

  Chapter 19

  Ryan

  Alissa and I had been seeing each other in secrecy for over a month and a half at that point, but that night, I had reserved for Kayla and me to have some time together. I had gotten off work early and come home, relieving the babysitter and calling Kayla down to help me make spaghetti for dinner. She always loved learning how to cook, and I thought it was a perfect night for that. When we were done, we plated the food and sat down at the table, already laughing about the explosion of sauce all over the front of me.

  “I got a postcard from grandpa,” she said, twirling her spaghetti. “He seems like he is having a lot of fun.”

  “I know,” I said, smiling. “I’m actually kind of jealous of all the places that they are getting to see. Where was this postcard from?”

  “Greece,” she said. “You can tell because all the buildings are white and the doors are bright blue. They are on the coast, too. It’s somewhere I want to go when I get older. I’m glad grandpa is having fun, but I want them to come back. I miss Grandma.”

  “How did you know about Greece?” I asked.

  “We learned it in school,” she said enthusiastically. “Not much though, just some mythology. I thought it was interesting, so I looked it all up when I got home and found out how cool it was there.”

  “What else are you doing in school these days?”

  “Well,” she said, thinking hard. “We are doing addition and subtraction in math, learning our states in geography, learning about mythology in English, and we started basic sentences in Spanish.”

  “Wow,” I said, truly amazed. “I didn’t take Spanish until high school.”

  “Yeah, apparently, I have to take it every year until I graduate,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “I’d rather learn French, but I don’t have a choice.”

  “You’re in second grade now, right?”

  “Yeah, I’m the youngest out of everyone, but I’m pretty sure I’m the smartest,” she said, smiling.

  “I would have to say you’re probably right.” I laughed. “I just don’t remember second grade being that intense. I mean, when I was in school, I’m pretty sure second grade was a lot about animals. We put on a play, and I sang in the chorus.”

  “Maybe you just can’t remember since it was like a million years ago,” she said, laughing before she could get it out.

  “Very funny,” I said, throwing a piece of bread at her. “Seriously, though, I didn’t even get introduced to homework until I was in the fifth grade.”

  “Lucky,” she said, sighing. “I hate homework.”

  “You think it’s lucky, but you have to look at it as an opportunity to learn a lot more than I did when I was in school,” I said, trying to curb her hatred for homework. “What are your grades looking like this quarter?”

  “All As, as usual,” she said proudly.

  “That’s great,” I said excitedly. “I know you were having a little bit of an issue there for a while.”

  “I feel better, so I am interested in everything again,” she said, smiling. “When you feel down, it’s hard to focus on anything but your feelings. Once I was able to put those to the side, I started to listen to the teachers and understand what I was doing.”

  “Well, good,” I said, taking a bite. “I’m really glad to know you are starting to feel better.”

  “My new room has really helped a lot, too,” she said. “Working at my desk with my computer really helps me focus. It was really hard staying awake, sitting on the bed after a long day at school, and I knew if I was in the kitchen, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate. At least, that’s what happened when I tried before.”

  “You do what you are most comfortable with, then,” I said, smiling.

  “I really
miss having Alissa babysitting me.” She sighed. “I feel like she doesn’t come around barely at all anymore. She must be really busy with everything she has going on in her life. I hope that she doesn’t forget about me.”

  “How could anyone forget about you?” I asked, feeling guilty for lying to Kayla. “She is really busy, though. She has a new project where the woman pretty much gave her all the power, so she has been obsessed with that for a while.”

  I sat back in my chair and looked down at my spaghetti, hating the fact that I was lying to my little girl. It wasn’t a lie that Alissa had that client, but I wasn’t telling her the whole truth. We still hadn’t brought up the fact that Alissa and I were dating, and it was almost two months later. I wanted to protect my little girl, but at the same time, what kind of message was I sending if I was lying to straight to her face? She deserved to know the truth, and then we could handle anything that came from that. Though I hoped for the best, I wasn’t sure at all how Kayla was going to react to finding out the secret. Either way, I couldn’t hold it back any longer.

  “Kayla,” I said, breathing heavily. “I need to tell you something that I’ve been keeping a secret from you for a couple months now. You have to understand that I was trying everything I could to not involve you in all of this stuff with my personal life, but I also can’t sit here and tell lies about something that you need to understand.”

  “What is it, Dad?”

  I sat there for a second, tapping my fork against my plate. This wasn’t the way I wanted her to find out. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, having to choose between possibly hurting her or continuing to lie to her at every turn. She was at that age where she asked a lot of questions, and I was finding myself further backed into a corner every single time. I took in a deep breath, knowing I just needed to get it out. I hadn’t been this nervous about telling someone something since I had to admit to my parents that I had gotten a bad grade in class. It was almost torture that I had kept it in this long, a pretty impressive streak for a guy that was terrible with secrets.

  “Okay,” I said, sighing. “I’m seeing Alissa. We’ve been dating for almost two months now.”

  I wasn’t sure if she could really understand the implications of that, but I carefully watched her face, completely shocked at how she was taking the news. She dropped her fork on her plate and balled up her fists, her expression becoming rigid and angry. I had to admit, I knew that she was capable of having all kinds of different reactions to the news, but I was definitely shocked by what she was showing me. I wanted so badly for her to be happy about Alissa and me that I had pushed away any idea that she would be less than thrilled about the concept. I knew it was hard for her to understand, especially since she was seven, and her mother had left her with no explanation or reasoning. Still, she had to know that her mother wasn’t coming back anytime soon, and that I was going to eventually move on with my life. Or maybe she didn’t know that at all.

  “How could you?” She stood up and slammed her fists on the table. “You were supposed to make the right choices, and you have been lying to me this whole time. Mother’s Day has come and gone, and you didn’t say anything about it. My mother was supposed to be here, so I could make her breakfast in bed and invite her to the school luncheon. But instead, you are out with Alissa, trying to fill Mom’s place without even talking to me about it. You are the worst, Dad!”

  She was screaming, and her little face was turning beet red. I didn’t know what to do, so I put my hand up, trying to get her to calm down. She plopped back down in her chair and folded her arm across her chest, her breathing increasing and her eyes pointed and hateful. I was so confused by what she was so angry about, but as she slowed her breathing, she began to sob uncontrollably, her tears falling into her plate of spaghetti.

  “I just don’t understand,” she cried. “She just left me, and she didn’t even say why. She won’t come back, and I can’t fix it. What did I do for her to do this to me? I can be better, be prettier, wear prettier clothes like she likes. I don’t care what I have to do. I just want her to come back and love me again.”

  “Baby,” I said quietly, reaching for her hand. “Don’t talk that way. You didn’t do anything wrong. You are perfect in every way. This is not about you. It’s about her, and the problems she has on the inside.”

  She pulled her hand away from mine and tucked it in her lap, her head facing down and tears falling into her skirt. She sobbed hard, and I knew that there was not a lot I could do to comfort her. It had been quite a while since she had a breakdown like this, but I didn’t realize that me dating someone else would have that kind of effect on her. I felt terrible, but I knew I needed to just let her get it out of her system. She slowly raised her head and squinted her eyes at me, still crying and her cheeks bright red.

  “And you, you didn’t even try to get Mom back,” she said angrily. “You just let her leave and haven’t done anything to make her want to come back here. You changed the whole house. Do you think Mom wants to come home to a place she doesn’t recognize? You should have left everything alone because she will come back one day, and you better hope that she forgives you for completely changing everything.”

  “Kayla, that isn’t how it works,” I said, trying to defend myself but still calm her down. “I know it’s hard for you to understand, but adults do things that destroy marriages sometimes, and that is what happened. Your mother didn’t just leave you. She left me, too. She just left and didn’t give me any clue as to what I did to deserve it.”

  “Then why don’t you find out and fix it?” She was still sobbing so hard, and I had no idea how to help her.

  I stood up and walked around the table, pulling Kayla’s seat out and facing her. She cried hard and leaned into my shoulder, letting me comfort her. I wrapped my arms around her and took in a deep breath, wishing I could stop this unbearable pain for her. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Kayla wasn’t ready for me to be seeing anyone else, no matter how much I wanted her to be.

  “Would you like it better if I wasn’t seeing Alissa right now?” I whispered into her ear and held my breath, hoping desperately that she wouldn’t say yes.

  “Mhmm,” she sniffled, wiping the tears from her face with her sleeve.

  “All right,” I sighed, pulling her back in for a hug.

  I didn’t want to break it off with Alissa. She was the most wonderful thing that had happened to me in a long time, but I knew Kayla had to come first. It was a terrible feeling, knowing that no matter what choice I made, I was going to hurt someone I cared for deeply. This was just another thing that I could add to the list of reasons I hated my ex-wife.

  Chapter 20

  Alissa

  I flipped through the pages of my notebook, scribbling notes in every corner that I could. I was at the home office, going through my notes on a new commercial client that I had booked. I really wanted to be with Ryan and Kayla since he invited me over for dinner with them, but I knew they needed some good father/daughter time together, and I needed to get a jumpstart on this new project. Still, no matter how responsible I was being, it didn’t help me stay focused on the task at hand. For some reason, I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that I just couldn’t shake. It was probably just the fact that I should be focused on my work, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Ryan and Kayla and how I missed them both very much. I barely got to see Kayla anymore, between Ryan and me dating and my new workload.

  This client, though, was the most amazing client I’d ever landed. This was a woman opening a high-end boutique in downtown Phoenix. She wanted everything to be done in an artistic manner, but not eclectic. She wanted high-fashion, luxury, and her budget was huge. On top of all of that, this client was willing to give me almost complete creative carte blanche, which was pretty much unheard of in this business. It was a really rare artistic and authentic experience that most interior designers didn’t see until late in their careers. I had dreamed of having a client like that,
and I had snagged her at a design show, which was also pretty much unheard of. I brought samples of all of my best work and set up a station, deciding that it was time for me to try to attract commercial contracts, as well as private ones. The commercial contracts were usually higher priced and had a better turnaround time than the private clients were. She had come up to my booth, loved my ideas, and had me come sign a contract the next day. It was crazy.

  Feeling like I needed a break, I put the notes down and got up from my desk, walking into my kitchen. I grabbed a glass and poured myself some iced tea, glad that I had taken time to get my kitchen back in order before diving into work. I had been so engrossed in my time with Ryan that I pretty much had nothing in the fridge and even less in the cabinets. I was not the kind of girl that liked to eat out all the time, so it was rare and irritating that I had a bachelor’s kitchen going on. Before I walked back into the office, I heard my phone ring from the other room. I walked into the living room and picked it up, smiling as Ryan’s name flew across the screen. He must have finished up with dinner and put Kayla to bed.

  I sat down on the couch and crossed my legs underneath of me before answering. I liked to be comfortable when I talked to him because most of the time, we would sit there for over an hour just chatting about life. I pressed the answer button and pulled the phone to my ear with excitement.

  “Hey there, handsome,” I said, smiling.

  “Hey,” he said with a slightly monotone voice. “What are you doing?”