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  There was something I needed to tell him, but for the life of me, I couldn’t bring myself to say it. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore but him and me.

  It was hard for me to describe the intoxicating headiness of our passion. It was like this immense and colossal storm that hit all at once, without warning and without any build up. One second, all was calm, and the next, there was rain and lightning and thunder and nothing to do but run for cover. That was what it felt like to me. One second, we were on the couch, smiling at each other and talking. And the next moment, Phil was kissing me, ripping my clothes apart, sucking my nipples, pulling off my panties, teasing his finger inside me, squeezing my ass, and finally pushing inside me while I gasped and clung to him.

  There was a sharp but expected pain that lasted a few moments, and then I settled into the feel of his cock inside me. His hands were on either side of my head, his face hung over mine, his breathing tickled my ear, and all the while, his cock slid in and out of me. I wasn’t completely prepared for how hard he fucked me, but I loved it all the same. There was something incredibly carnal, satisfying, and freeing about being taken by a real man.

  He had stamina and managed to keep up the pace for so long that I started to lose track of time. I started to pay attention to the new wave of sensations pricking at my skin. He was drawing me out of my inexperience and teaching me all the ways sex could be wonderful and exciting and satisfying. I curled my toes and threw my head back, screaming as the orgasm hit. I felt his lips circle my exposed nipple as he came, as well. Then silence descended around us and I could hear only our breathing. It was almost musical.

  A few seconds passed before Phil righted himself and extended his hand out to me. I placed my hand in his, allowing him to pull me up into a sitting position.

  He glanced at me and gave me a shy smile. “I… That was… I didn’t plan on that,” he said at last.

  I smiled. “It just happened.”

  “You looked at me and… I just couldn’t stop myself and then—”

  I silenced him by leaning and kissing him gently on the lips. When I pulled apart, I kept my face close to his. “I think it was the perfect way to start our first date.”

  Phil laughed. “Shall we head over to the theater?”

  “Let’s.” I nodded.

  The car ride was quiet, but it was only because I was reliving the moment we had just shared, and I was almost certain that Phil was doing the same. We walked into the theater hand in hand, and I wanted to burst with happiness.

  I was finally on a date with Phil. We had just had sex. Suddenly life didn’t seem so bad, and my future didn’t seem quite as bleak.

  We were standing in line at the popcorn stand when I heard a woman’s voice call out Phil’s name.

  “Phil!”

  Phil and I turned around and came face to face with a tall woman with dark hair, blue eyes, and exotic features. She was a beauty, and I felt instantly threatened by just the sight of her.

  “Well, well, well… I can’t believe it’s you, Philip.”

  I frowned a little when she said his full name.

  “Anna,” Phil said, and as he said her name, he dropped my hand.

  I felt my heart thud a little harder, but this time, it was not fun or exciting.

  “How are you, darling?” she said as she leaned in and hugged him.

  I watched carefully as he returned her hug fondly enough. As they pulled away, Anna laid a little kiss on his cheek. A few more people crowded towards the popcorn stand and in the crowd, I was pushed apart from Phil, which put me on one side and Anna and Phil on the other.

  “I’m good.”

  “I heard you made it,” Anna said. “You’re finally a firefighter.”

  “I am,” Phil nodded.

  “Congratulations.”

  “Thank you,” Phil replied.

  “You were so nervous that you wouldn’t make it,” she continued, touching his arm unnecessarily. “But I always knew you would make it. You had it in you from the start.”

  “You always believed in me too much.”

  “I believed in you because you gave me a reason to,” she said. “How’s your brother, by the way?”

  I felt another little spark of discomfort. Phil had never mentioned his brother to me. “I haven’t spoken to him in a while,” Phil’s voice was low with some emotion that I couldn’t name.”

  “You haven’t visited him?” Anna asked.

  “It’s been years,” he admitted.

  I frowned. There was something I was missing—and apparently, despite our months’ worth of conversations, it seemed I didn’t know anything real about Phil.

  “Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” he said, glancing over at me. “I’m being so rude. Anna, this is Megan. Megan, this is Anna.”

  I shook her hand woodenly, mustering up the faintest smile I could manage. “Nice to meet you,” she said, but I couldn’t tell if she meant it or not. “What are you guys here to see?” she asked.

  She addressed the question at me, but when I didn’t reply, Phil stepped in and spoke. I watched them go back and forth, and it was evident from their conversation that they had history. She was an old girlfriend obviously, but she had also been a significant relationship in Phil’s life to know things about him that I didn’t know about yet. I felt a little sick and I couldn’t stand there anymore.

  As another rush of people crowded around us, I turned and lost myself in the crowd. I walked away from Phil and Anna, wondering if he would even notice that I was gone.

  Chapter Nine

  Phil

  After so many years, seeing Anna again was a shock. She represented a part of my life that I had left behind, and seeing her reminded me of how far I’d come. She was still beautiful, still friendly as ever, still interested in my life and my family, but there were no feelings attached to her anymore.

  “Anyway, Anna, it was nice seeing you again, but we’re on our first date and—”

  “Uh, Phil?” she interrupted. “Your date has disappeared.”

  With a start, I looked to my side and realized that Megan was no longer standing there. I looked around, trying to catch her among the sea of people.

  “Where’d she go?” I asked.

  “She didn’t look too happy to meet me,” Anna said gently. “Maybe that had something to do with it.”

  I frowned. “That can’t be it.”

  “I know jealousy when I see it,” she said. “As I recall, I was the jealous one when we were dating.”

  “Fuck,” I cursed.

  “Sorry if I fucked things up for you.”

  “I gotta go, Anna,” I said, without bothering with a goodbye hug.

  My only concern was finding Megan. I replayed the last ten minutes over in my head again. I didn’t think I had been different, had I? I realized that I’d forgotten to introduce Megan immediately. Then I realized I had dropped her hand. I had been holding her hand when I saw Anna, and the fact that she had managed to walk away without me even realizing it meant that I had unconsciously let go at some point.

  All of that combined with seeing me meet an old girlfriend might have sent Megan straight towards the exit, but I still couldn’t quite believe she would leave like that. I checked the entire theater for good measure, and I hung around the bathrooms, too, just in case she had needed to use a restroom. But Megan was nowhere in sight.

  Finally, I picked up my phone and tried calling. It was ringing, but she didn’t pick up. I tried again immediately, and this time, the line went dead. She had seen I was calling and had cut me off. I was starting to see that Anna was spot on with her observation. Cursing, I headed out towards Brent’s apartment, hoping that she had gone back there.

  On my way over, I called Megan’s number again and left a message. “Megan,” I said. “I’m sorry about that… She’s an old girlfriend, but there’s nothing going on between us. There hasn’t been for years. I knew her before becoming a firefighter.”

  My exp
lanation sounded flat and flimsy as I was saying it and instead of continuing on with it, I just hung up and headed to the apartment. I realized that Megan might not even have made it back yet. She had either decided to walk, in which she would probably take another fifteen minutes, or she had taken a cab, which I thought was unlikely. Either way, I headed up to Brent’s apartment and knocked hard, hoping to find Megan there.

  The door opened, but it wasn’t Megan.

  “It’s you,” I said.

  “Well, hello to you, too,” Brent said. He was chomping on a bag of chips. “Want one?”

  “No thanks,” I said, breezing past him. “Where’s Megan?”

  “No idea,” he replied with his mouth full. “Why?”

  “We were at the movies and she just…disappeared on me,” I said, not wanting to get into the whole thing with Brent.

  “You went to the movies together?” he asked, frowning at me.

  “Uh…yeah.”

  He tilted his head to the side. “On a date?”

  “Um… yeah.”

  “I thought you told me that there was nothing going on between you two?” he asked. “You said it was strictly plutonic and all that shit.”

  “First of all, it’s platonic,” I corrected him. “Not plutonic. And secondly, it was for about ten minutes, and then it changed.”

  “Hold the fuck up,” Brent said, setting down his bag of chips. “Are you telling me that you’re dating my sister?”

  I turned to face him. “Yes.”

  Brent’s eyes narrowed. “You didn’t ask for my permission.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “I didn’t realize I was supposed to.”

  “Dude, we’re supposed to be friends,” he said.

  “I’m sorry, man,” I said. “Really. I should have spoken to you first. But you knew Megan and I were talking…”

  “As friends,” he pointed out. “I didn’t know you wanted to get in her pants.”

  “It’s not like that, okay?” I said, choosing to omit the fact that we had already slept together on this very couch about an hour ago. “I really like Megan. I care about her a lot, and I don’t intend to hurt her.”

  Brent listened carefully. “What are your intentions with my sister?”

  I frowned. “Are you being serious right now?”

  Brent’s face relaxed. “I just always wanted to say that,” he said. “But I am serious about one thing… If you hurt my sister, I’ll beat the living crap out of you—got it?”

  “Got it,” I nodded. “Does that mean I have your blessing?”

  Brent made a face and then shrugged to indicate that it was more like a grudging acceptance rather than an outright blessing, but I would take it. The more pressing problem at the moment was where Megan was. It would be ironic for Brent to be okay with Megan and I dating, only for Megan to decide that she never wanted to see me again.

  “Thanks,” I said. “So, you have no idea where Megan is, then?”

  “You were the one at the movies with her,” Brent pointed out.

  “We had a little…misunderstanding,” I said evasively. “And she ran out on me.”

  “What did you do?” Brent asked, raising one eyebrow at me.

  “Nothing. I just ran into an old girlfriend and Megan… I guess she got upset.”

  “Huh,” Brent said. “Never pegged Megan for the jealous type.”

  He sat down on his couch and put his feet up. “You can wait here for her if you want,” he said, chomping on more chips.

  “I think I will,” I decided, sitting down next to Brent.

  I figured if she had decided to walk home, she’d still need a little more time getting here. I groaned in frustration.

  “So, who was it?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “Who was the ex-girlfriend you bumped into?”

  “Oh… Anna,” I replied.

  “Fuck, I remember her,” Brent nodded. “She was hot—definitely a nine. Maybe even a nine-point-five now that I think about it.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Do you still do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “Rate women based on appearance?”

  “Sure.” Brent nodded. “Every man does.”

  “I don’t.”

  “That’s because you’re a fucking boy scout who always does the right thing,” Brent said. “I’m sure Saint Phil would never objectify a woman.”

  “Oh, trust me, I used to,” I said.

  “What changed?”

  “I suppose I just grew up.”

  “Sad.”

  I shook my head at him. “At some point, you might have to grow up, too, whether you like it or not.”

  “Wanna watch some porn?” Brent asked.

  “No,” I said decidedly.

  “Want a beer?”

  “Now that I won’t say no to.” I nodded, hoping it would take the edge off and make me feel a little better.

  Brent got me a beer, and while he was at it, he got himself another, too. He sat down beside me and took a long swig. “So, how’d she look?”

  “Who?” I asked distractedly.

  “Anna, of course,” Brent said.

  I looked at him in shock. “Dude.”

  “What?”

  “I wasn’t really paying attention to Anna.”

  “Are you just saying that because you’re dating my sister?” Brent asked.

  “No,” I said firmly.

  “Geez…” Thankfully he didn’t persist.

  I had drunk half my beer when I realized that Megan wasn’t coming home anytime soon. She had obviously gone somewhere else to try and let off some steam. The only problem was that I hadn’t the faintest notion where that might be.

  “Does Megan like to hang out anyplace?” I asked.

  “Uh…no clue,” Brent replied, with a shrug.

  I put down my beer bottle in annoyance. “She’s your sister,” I reminded him. “Maybe you should take an interest.”

  “What the fuck is your problem?” he asked, completely unconcerned.

  “My problem is that she’s been working her ass off trying to pay rent, keep this place clean, and keep you fed, and you don’t seem to appreciate her.”

  Brent narrowed his eyes at me. “Hey, dude, I’m not the one she ran from tonight.”

  I felt my anger deflate just like that. Brent must have seen it because he took another swig of beer and threw me a bone. “Try the park two blocks down from here,” he said. “She might be there.”

  “Really?”

  Brent shrugged. “She mentioned walking by the park on her way to work each day…and something about going there when she has a minute to spare to think or something.”

  “Thanks, Brent,” I said gratefully, as I made a beeline for the door.

  “Wait, you’re leaving?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded.

  “We haven’t hung out in ages.”

  “Another time, man,” I said. “Thanks for your help.”

  I sped out of the apartment and headed straight for the park. I had actually driven past it in on my way here, but I hadn’t given it a second glance. There were plenty of parking spaces around the area, so I parked quickly and walked around looking for Megan.

  I found her on the swing set, surrounded by trees and masked moonlight. She cut a sad and lonely silhouette, and my body ached for her all of a sudden. Her hair flowed gently in the wind, cutting off half her face from my view. She was looking down, pensive and distant.

  I walked over to her quietly. She saw me coming at the last possible second, but she didn’t seem surprised. Her eyes caught mine for just a moment before she looked away again. She didn’t say a word, and I didn’t, either. Instead, I sat down on the swing beside hers, reached out, and took her hand. I thought she might resist, but to my surprise, she didn’t.

  We just sat like that, hand in hand, swinging in tandem with one another. I realized suddenly that this was the first time in my life that I could remember being on a swing at all. I
t was a strangely sad thought, and I felt the need to share that with Megan. When I looked towards her, her face was turned towards me, but she was looking off in the distance at something I couldn’t see.

  She was so beautiful that I finally understood what people meant when they spoke of muses. I could understand the inspiration behind painting a beautiful woman and wanting to commit her image to history forever. It felt almost like a public service—beauty like that needed to be seen and appreciated. I wanted to kiss her again, but I also wanted to talk to her. I found it amazing that the two things could be mutually exclusive. I had always believed that you got one or the other.

  When I looked towards her, I caught her glancing towards me. But this time, she didn’t turn away.

  Chapter Ten

  Megan

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  His hazel eyes were pooled in shadow so that I couldn’t see their color. I imagined them though, sparkling bright and full of warmth. Despite everything, I still felt safe whenever he was near me, and it had nothing to do with the fact that he was a firefighter. It was who he was that made me feel safe. He could have been anything in the world, and I would have felt the same way.

  “For what?” I asked because I really wanted to know.

  “For what happened back there,” Phil said. “She was an ex-girlfriend, but there’s nothing between us. There hasn’t been for a very long time. I was dating her around the same time I met your brother. I had just realized that I wanted to be a firefighter and was in the process of starting to pursue it. She was around for most of those discussions and encouraged me to go through with it.

  “We broke up when I was going through my training. I was neglecting her, and she wasn’t happy. I think we both realized that the relationship was not going to withstand the pressure and stress of my new job. We parted on good terms, but I don’t have any feelings for Anna. Trust me on that.”

  “Is that why you think I got upset?” I asked.

  Phil paused for a moment, obviously having considered nothing else. “Um…yes.”